It’s time for author Alex J. Cavanaugh’s https://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html. Join us as we share our insecurities, frustrations and triumphs by clicking the link. Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.
March 2 question – Have you ever been conflicted about writing a story or adding a scene to a story? How did you decide to write it or not?
A suicide here. A murder charge there. During my Interdisciplinary Arts and Writing MFA program when it came to revealing the stories of others I struggled. The stories of antagonists central to the plot of my book; a memoir of sorts. I have the news articles all sitting in a box.
I keep returning to this post and editing due to my anxiety over the details. It’s silly, but sums up how I’m feeling about my master thesis.
“She can’t be all bad. No one is.”
“Well, she comes the closest.” – Out Of The Past
These are very real events. People surviving crazy amounts of trauma. Friends. I worked it into a memoir of sorts. It morphed into an algorithm of a modern noir mystery. Growing up on Hammett, Chandler and MacDonald I write most everything in a jerky unapologetic, Johnny on the spot, call it like I see it – noir form -.
I keep telling myself, “Just put it out there. Don’t use names. So, you’ve seen some shit. You don’t need to beat readers over the head with it. They get it. They know.” That’s the problem. They know. One of the stories mentioned made national news. I’m afraid to lose friends.
“I haven’t lived a good life. I’ve been bad, worse than you can know.”
“You know that’s good, because if you actually were as innocent as you pretend to be, we’d never get anywhere.” – The Maltese Falcon
I’ve been sitting on this completed manuscript for 3 years now. I feel like a gate keeper and key holder to the details of personal struggles. My characters very real people with very real lives. The responsibility weighs on me awkward, heavy and unbalanced.
Submitted as my master thesis; this work has had eyes on it. Important ones. Fantastic writers. Author, Carolyn Cooke herself helped me render out important parts adding a rich texture and flavor combination I couldn’t have come up with on my own. I continue to sit on my pages worried if putting it out there would be “right”. I’m a nobody. Why do have anxiety over such a limited audience? It’s not about the audience. It’s the content.
I attended a workshop led by a high profile author. During workshop writers shared work and provided each other feedback. I don’t remember the quote, but essentially the author leading the group stated, “If you’re not unhappy with your work enough to try try again you won’t get it right.”
One of the writers in the salon piped up.
“I’ve never had that problem,” he said.
The author, who had read his work, looked over his eye-glasses at the writer.
“I believe you,” he said.
Have you ever been conflicted over writing a scene or sharing your work with someone other than your mentors or publisher?
The awesome co-hosts for the March 2 posting of the IWSG are Janet Alcorn, Pat Garcia, Natalie Aguirre, and Shannon Lawrence!
It must be really hard deciding whether to publish your book since it involves horrible experiences some of your friends have gone through. I wish I could give you guidance but I don’t how I’d deal with trying to make the decision either. It sounds like you’re doing the right thing to sit on it until you feel your path is clear.
I have other projects in play. You’re right. I’ll follow my gut until the timing feels right. Happy IWSG Day, Natalie!
Based on your anecdotes, you lead a much more interesting life than I do. If you can use your life experiences to write a story, go for it.
My life was a bit over interesting for a minute. Too bad crazy stories don’t always equal good ones.
It’s not so much the story, but in how you tell it. I think everyone has a story to tell. All equally valid and important. My problem isn’t my story. It’s exposing others who aren’t around for me to ask permission. It’s weird.
I love the scene you painted with that author at the end. They were succinct and to the point, and I wonder if their comment struck true or went over the audience member’s head. Good luck in making these choices.
Ha. It made a few of us at the salon laugh inside. The writer who said he never gets anxiety about his work is akin to a writer joining the IWSG and posting, “I’m never insecure, but listen to how awesome I am.”
I love your teachers quote. There are people out there who refuse constructive criticism. It’s their lossn
Right? Some feel like they need no critique at all. You almost want to ask, “Why are you here?”
Getting feedback on writing is like having another architect look at your floor plans to point out how to make your idea more structurally sound. You don’t have to follow their advice if it’s not the look you’re going for, but they may show you how to fix problems you didn’t know you had.
A tricky dilemma….
Loved the anecdote about the teacher!
Thanks. I included more detail about my particular problem when I first published this post, then couldn’t stop obsessing over others’ reactions to it. Reactions from friends and acquaintances I’m almost positive don’t read, let alone read this blog.
I threw in the anecdote because the memory always makes me feel like less of a compulsive weirdo. Happy IWSG!
Adrienne, I completely understand about being forthwith in your writing. The truth that swirls inside you that needs to break out. Writing is very healing!
Why not use a pseudonym? You can be you under a name that protects your identity, like a superhero wearing a mask. Your truth can be someone else’s saving grace.
🙂
Thanks, Elizabeth. It is healing, and provides new perspectives on recurring themes.
I’ve considered a pseudonym. I’ve written under a few, but have mixed feelings about it.
One of the biggest reasons I’ve not considered writing a memoir (besides the fact that my life is DULL) is just the issue you raise: how will the people react who are portrayed in the text? It’s easier to write about fictional people–they can’t sue me.
So true! There’s more fact in fiction for those very reasons.
Would it be out of the question to talk to the people whose life events you’ve written about, share your intentions, find out their thoughts, offer them to read the parts inspired by their lives, and get their okay (preferably in writing, if possible)? It may be an uncomfortable situation but they may appreciate that you came to them first. If they do okay it, that anxiety will go away because you got their permission. If they don’t, remove their story, and, again, the anxiety will go away because you will be respecting their decision.
I wish that were the case. One is no longer with us, and the other subject’s lawyer advised her not to speak to me.